to love better…

IMG_7224

There have been so many days over the past few years where I would go to bed defeated by the way I had acted towards my family. Within my heart was so much love for them, but exhaustion, stress, grief, anxiety, depression seemed to steal my ability to express it in the way I wanted to, in the way they deserved.

And then one night I told my husband as we were falling asleep. “I will love you better tomorrow.” And I felt better. At least he knew that A) I loved him, B) I was trying even if it didn’t seem like it. I had also reminded myself of what was truly in my heart, the desire to love and love well.

Valentine’s Day reveals our relationship to love. Do we find ourselves deserving of love? Or have we shut it out consciously or unconsciously? Are we brave enough to love? Are we vulnerable enough to be loved? Can we love ourselves? Can we feel love despite the imperfection in life, in others, in ourselves? What is in the way of our ability to love well?

Whatever relationship we have with love…love is necessary.

I wonder what would happen…if when all is still and quiet and the night has come to provide closure to our day, what would happen if we quietly whispered each night to our partners, our children, ourselves, the simple statement ….

“i will love you better tomorrow”

Whatever did or didn’t happen that day…
“i will love you better tomorrow”

Whether it is their fault, your fault, or has yet to be agreed upon…
“i will love you better tomorrow”

If it was the most beautiful day…
“i will love you better tomorrow”

If it was a hard, hard day…
“i will love you better tomorrow”

If you were the best parent, partner, sibling, friend, human …
“i will love you better tomorrow”

Or if you acted in a way that didn’t match the love in your heart…
“i will love you better tomorrow.”

If you are so very far from where you want to be…
“i will love you better tomorrow”

If you are right where you have always wanted to be…
“i will love you better tomorrow”

If you are somewhere in between…
“i will love you better tomorrow”

If it is Valentine’s Day…
“i will love you better tomorrow”

If its not Valentine’s Day…
“i will love you better tomorrow”

The image of those words being whispered as the last words spoken in every quiet, dark house at the end of each day…..just think it could be Valentine’s Day every day.

May our Valentines be a day each year where we recommit to loving them, more fiercely, more openly, with less conditions. And let us not forget to do the same with ourselves.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s